3 Ways to Have More Time to Yourself as a New Mom
Theres’s absolutely nothing like those fresh newborn snuggles as a first time mom and getting to know your newborn baby that you waited 9 months to meet, it is invaluable! But there’s also nothing quite like the feeling of being tied down with feeding on demand 24 hours a day and constant contact napping. In the first few months of being a new mom, I remember wondering, “Where has my time gone? What about time to myself?” If you resonate with any of these few sentences, then keep reading. I’ve written 3 simple, yet helpful tips, for any new mom who is longing for some of her time back.
Don’t save all the cleaning and housework for nap time
I don’t know where we get this idea from as moms that we can’t do housework with our kids. I see so many moms waiting for nap time to clean the house, get ready, cook, etc. I too once had the mindset that I couldn’t do something like vacuum or meal prep when my baby was awake. I’m going to guess that this mindset comes from feeling like we need to be constantly entertaining our kids. I get it, mom guilt comes for us quick when we aren’t constantly with our kids! However, I think we really would benefit from getting rid of this mindset. Your baby is more likely, after the newborn stage at least, spending more time awake than asleep and we can’t just wait for those few precious hours of alone time when they’re sleeping to do all the boring work, like cleaning! So my tip to you mama is this: clean, cook, shower, get ready, etc WHILE your baby is awake!
If your baby is extremely clingy or whiny and bored, then you’re probably asking, “how!?” Shortly after the newborn stage your baby might seem to get bored more easily. They’re finally aware of the world around them and they might want to be constantly exploring and experiencing new things. At some point your baby is going to be more entertained by your kitchen spatula than the nice toys you buy. Take advantage of this! Move your baby from room to room with you as you pick a small chore in each room, making the bed, putting dishes away, etc. When it comes to something bigger like vacuuming, I’m actually fairly certain your baby will LOVE the vacuum, so if he or she is fussy then I’d highly recommend getting out the vacuum to distract and entertain your fussy baby! If you’re trying to do something like shower, then I recommend just having your baby strapped into their bouncer seat with a couple different toys (or household items) that he or she can gnaw on. Chances are, being in a different room with different “toys” and the sound of the water will actually be soothing and entertaining. If this still is not working for you, that get out that baby wrap or carrier and put your baby on for the ride while you go about your day! Now, when it is nap time you can actually enjoy yourself. Catch up on that tv show, paint your nails, call your friend, come alive in a hobby or maybe even start a side-hustle just for fun!
Consider picking a gentle sleep teaching method to help your baby fall asleep independently
I imagine many new moms are going to read this and think, “What precious alone time when baby naps? My baby only naps on me or next to me, I’m always nap-trapped!”
Especially iun the newborn stage, many of us love and cherish the contact naps because our babies are only that little for so long, we want to soak up those snuggles! But for a lot of us, contact napping is not sustainable long-term. If you’re feeling desperate for your baby to nap independently in their crib, then I’d urge you to pick a gentle sleep teaching method that you’re comfortable implementing. I am not referring to CIO/Full Extinction or Ferber methods. One gentle method I love for young babies (before 6 months old) is called ‘Pick up put down’. This is a leave & check method meaning you put your baby down awake in their crib following your sleep routine, leave the room, and then based on how much he or she is crying you will go pick them up every so often. This could be as often as every 2-3 minutes. Depending on your baby’s age and what you’re comfortable with, you might wait up to 7-10 minutes before going back in the room to pick up and soothe your baby. There are many variations to this method and its ultimately up to you to pick something you're comfortable with so that you can stay consistent. Consistency is the most important factor when setting out to help your child build independent sleep skills!
Ask for help!
My last tip (for now) is to ask for help and create a support system for yourself, or even consider hiring professional help. If your baby is frequently waking at night and you’re becoming exhausted and frustrated, at the very least ask your spouse (or a friend or family member) to help you so that not every waking is your responsibility! For example, some parents will split the night into shifts. Before 1am might be all dad’s job and after 1am is all the mom’s job. If your baby is struggling to nap independently during the day and you’re feeling desperate for a break, then consider asking a friend or family member to come over during the day and just hold your baby so you can rest. If it comes to it and you’re able to, consider hiring the professional help you need. Whether that’s a postpartum overnight support person who can attend to some of baby’s feedings and wakings at night, or even hiring a sleep consultant (like myself)!
What have you found most helpful as a new mom beginning your journey in motherhood? tell me in the comments below!
